Inception Without Order.

There are ups and downs for being an organized person but I think the main down will be the inability to be flexible. I was just getting ready to sleep early because I had to be in school for a training but I only realized that the training was cancelled because the person in charge emailed to another account. I guessed I wasn’t upset with this last minute change but I did lament about the sudden gap in my schedule tomorrow. And of course, that changes everything. -being dramatic here- Just joking but order is so much appreciated here in my corner. I think I will…

Thank You.

Thank You Jesus. (:

Decision-making.

It’s so important to not run at the world’s speed and demand because before you know it, you make decisions without first seeking God about it. Then the decision backfires, you regret, things go wrong and then you want to blame God. I know the heat is on about the future, about the jobs, about the deadlines and all those things that I should be applying. But I haven’t even approach this subject prayerfully yet, how can I make any decision at the point of time? I don’t dare to drop my resume at any booth because I know that I did not even sit down to think through all the jobs openings and such.

So I guess now I should really start getting on my knees to pray about this and I hope you will pray alongside with me.

When He speaks, listen.

Here’s the thing: when God is speaking to you about something, you better listen.

If not if you spend a week running around in circles and fretting in vain when He already told you a week ago that He will fix it for you.

What’s wrong with me man…

How Could I Live?

How could I live without You
How could I survive
Without Your love
Without Your touch
You’re the One that heals me
And cleanses my heart
And sets me free

Now i come right before You
With my hands lifted up
With my heart humbly bowed
At Your work on the cross
As You hang there and die
You were paying the price
For my life, For my life

For Your love is higher than the heavens
Deeper than the seas
And all I want is You in my life
Noone else can satisfy my soul
Can make me feel this way
Only You Lord, only You

God makes me feel like I’m the apple of His eyes, and that the life that I think doesn’t count for much, count so much for Him that Christ would go to the cross for me. That it counts for so much that He is willing to be there for every single moment of this seemingly insignificant life. Wow, now that’s something to me.

Who am I? Sometimes I’m not even too sure of that. Right now, am I not just a student trying to do her best to keep up in school, trying her best to survive outside? But it seems like I am so much more in His eyes. I think I like who I am the best when I am in His eyes.

Thank You Lord. (:

So much to learn.

I have so much to learn from my dog.

People tend to overlook dogs, especially those who dislike dogs. It’s true that they are not as smart as the cats, nor are they as elegant as the horses, but I find myself constantly learning so much from them. Dogs are well-known for their loyalty, and I really want to be as loyal as them towards God. So keeping a dog reminds me frequently of how a loyal friend should be and I am grateful for the reminder because I forgets so easily.

Today while bringing my dog out for a stroll, I decided to tease her a little. As my dog is not trained, she doesn’t obey basic commands like heel so I keep her leashed 90% of the time when we are out. The remaining 10% occurs when we are alone on a large patch of land. So today I unleashed her while we were on this huge grass patch. Usually I will just continue to follow where she goes as she goes about exploring the land. But today, I decided to hide from her to see her reaction.

At first she was happy to be unleashed, because it meant that she could be free to go anywhere she likes. And she loves that, she really does. But as I slowly made my way AWAY from her, I realised that she was giving me a look. Her look was so intense, so focused, she just keep staring at me, refusing to play on her own. And finally when I hid behind the pillar, she started dashing towards me, totally abandoning her play. Only when she found me did she decided to walk back to the grass patch and making sure I was with her throughout the process.

So what did I learned?

I learned that I must know what is the MOST important thing to me, and once I’ve decided on that I MUST keep my eyes on it all the time. I have decided to follow Jesus all the days of my life and I should always be looking to Him like how my dog always always kept her eyes on me. But I failed to deliver that degree of devotion and I learned today that I must. Often than not, I let my eyes wander, I let my eyes focus on other things, I let my heart turn towards other stuff, ignoring my God who stands waiting for me.

I also learned that I must dash towards God, wherever He is, even though it means leaving my place of comfort and pleasure, I must dash towards Him. My dog loves the grass patch, but she will rather abandon it than lose sight of me, I need to learn how to do the same. Sometimes I am unwilling to go where God wants me to simply because I want to serve my own agenda above anything else. Today I learned I need to move away from the things/places I like if God wants me to because like my dog who doesn’t wants to be where I am not, I don’t want to be where God is not.

My dog is old but she has been single-minded since the day she decided to follow me.

I want to be the same towards God too. (:

For the Passion of The Cross.

I am glad for the retreat.

Even happier that God, You loves me. (=

Totally don’t feel like working tomorrow.

Investment.

I should invest in a good big backpack, considering the number of times that I might be using it this year. I have a nice small one that cannot fit too much stuff in, so that’s out. My Deuter team bag is erm, chucked into a corner of the house that I am not aware of. I don’t like lugging a luggage around… so yep. A good backpack will be rather ideal! Thank God Leepeng still has her team bag in good working condition, if not I don’t know what else I will be bringing this sunday, LOL.

Anyway just a quick ramble before I go to bed. Night Safari was really good! Exceeded my expectations by so much, I can’t believe I am still excited by animals the way I was excited about the zoo when I was five. It has been a while since I last went to a zoo, let alone a night one. So imagine my excitement watching a tiger sleep and then stare at you with its big eyes that are found on its very huge face; or hearing the indian wolves sing the night away with their very own act.. They were pure gems, I had many of the “OoO so cute!”, “ahhhh look at that!” and “It’s there!” moments. My personal fave is the Indian wolves, they were quite adorable! I think Chit loved the flying squirrels (maybe cause they looked abit like hamsters?) and Leepeng has no preference, she just loved the animal show. Hahaha. But I think she has a soft spot for the Otters who were very adorable and squeaky by the way. 

We also got amused by the names of the creatures we saw last night. Things like Greater Mousedeer and Lesser Mousedeer just amuses us. I think maybe we went too late or something but most of the animals were sleeping by the time we got there. They just lie down there and ignore us. Hahha. The cats were all sleeping most of the time except for the patrolling leopard. We couldn’t see the lions at all (upset!) but the herbivores were more active, munching and chewing the night away. B&J at the end was good too! Although I think the coke was quite pricey! Hahaha. 

All in all: Happy 22nd birthday chit! (:

The book I am reading (Jesus wants to save Christmas by Rob Bell) is getting interesting. Some parts were rather thought provoking.

And to love God is to love the people He loves. You forget the people He loves, you forget God. It’s easy to forget Him when we are treating what He has blessed us with like entitlements, like we are taking it for granted. And it’s difficult to understand the sufferings of others when we are only interested in ourselves. The way of Jesus is not an accumulation of wealth and resources to build an empire that will enslaves the others in order to get richer and more powerful. I think the way of Jesus is one that uses what we have for the people God loves so that every single one feels like they have a friend who cares and loves them in this world. 

Can’t wait for Sunday! 2 more days officially, to Revolutionary Road. (:

It’s really all about You.

No matter how I try to run, hide, deny, rationalize and justify, in the end, the only thing I know that really matters is my relationship with God. I can intentionally brush things away, wrongfully prioritize or just childishly indulge myself in what I know will feel good over what I know is good. But in the very end, it will all come back to me, I will miss things and I will can’t wait to be back. It’s not even for others or for work sake, it will just be about God and me.

After numeral trials and experiments, I know all that matters will be my relationship with God. It’s all about Him, however much I can deny, it will still be all about Him.

And I’m thankful for that.

Hi new toy. (:

I’m loving my new toy not just because it’s black and sleek, but because it’s actually quite a multi-tasking toy that allows me to do many things that I can’t do with the previous one. Say hi to my new black beauty!

I’m still trying to get use to it because it’s so different from my motorola K1 (which I didn’t trade it in because I still like it..). The keypad as you can see is rather tiny and if I place my whole thumb over it, I can actually cover 6 buttons at one go! Hahaha, seriously! Plus, Nokia is like totally not compatible with my mackey, which brings in some trouble for me because now I keep needing to convert certain files before it can be read in my phone.

The guidebook said that the E71 can play songs in mp3 format but I realised that it can’t and I don’t have a single song file that is in wma format (which should play nicely in my nokia phone). Most of my songs are in m4a and mp3 formats. Then begins the tedious search to convert mp3 to wma, which apparently is not a popular choice of action because I had a hard time finding freeware that does such conversion. Finally I found one that allows me to convert mp3 to aac.

In any case, it feels a little weird now that my phone is not longer a flip phone. Can’t do the flipping/slamming action that I like to do when I am angry anymore. It’s back to the basics with Nokia again! Hahah, it’s been ages since I owed a nokia product, the last one being a good 7 years ago? Hahaha.

I thank God that during the weekends, He gave me strength physically to go through the schedule. I should be feeling very tired but I am not, so I thank Him that He saw me through all that I was required to do during the weekends.

Isa40:31

but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Amen to that! (: